Good Times
by SpyMaster
Summary: A new doctor arrives at the hospital, he has a past. Lot's of secrets come out and nothing will ever be the same again. I screwed with the timeline totally. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Inside The Royal it was business as usual. As it was Saturday Mr Middleditch was holding the regular briefing before surgery, as usual the only items on the agenda were things put there by Mr Harper, who had conveniently decided not to put in an appearance, so predictably everybody was a little bored. Just as the meeting was about to end, a tall man with dark hair all dressed in leather, a bikers helmet dangling casually from his right hand walked in. His very walk oozed sex appeal, the expression on his face, half frown half smile was also incredibly sexy. Mr Middleditch turned round to face him after a moment, when he noticed that he had lost everybody's attention.

"Surgeries not started yet," Mr Middleditch informed him, the man smiled a smile guaranteed to make any self respecting woman weak at the knees.

"I know," he replied sticking out a hand, "I'm Dr Hardy, your new surgeon." Mr Middleditch frowned in confusion.

"New surgeon? I think there must have been some mistake. . ."

"No there's no mistake. This is The Royal and you are Mr Middleditch, correct?" Mr Middleditch nodded, "I was told to report here today by a Mr Harper." Just then Mr Harper decided to put in an appearance, seeing Dr Hardy he strode forward hand outstretched.

"Dr Hardy," he called putting on a sickly sneering smile, Dr Hardy turned to look at him and shook hands, obviously somewhat amused about the fact he had at least a foot on Mr Harper in height. "If you'd like to come through to my office so we can discuss . . ."

"Mr Harper," Mr Middleditch interrupted him, "I think that you and I should have a talk first. You know full well that appointing new staff doesn't come under the DHA's authority.

"It does now," Mr Harper smiled, gesturing for Dr Hardy to follow him. Matron stepped forward and shared a glance with Mr Middleditch, communicating that she would take over. Determinedly she walked into Mr Harper's office.

"Well, that's certainly interesting," Gordon commented, more to break the silence than anything else.

* * *

By lunchtime the news of what had happened that morning was all over the hospital, the sentiment of most of the Nurse's was that while they didn't want Mr Harper having the power to fire them, they didn't want the new dashing doctor to have to leave. Stella who had been in reception for most of the morning, ostensibly on hospital business, but really waiting for somebody to come out from Mr Harper's office was the first to know the answer. 

"Dr Hardy's staying," she announced practically running into casualty, luckily with Matron in reception she didn't get into trouble.

Gordon saw her but didn't comment, he was going home early today and didn't want anybody to know. Things had been really hard for him at home just recently, although if he admitted it to himself, things had been hard at home for a couple of years. He was seeing all the signs and knew what they meant, he just didn't know what to do about it, mainly because he didn't want to admit that there was a problem. Life wasn't fair, why had it picked him to play this cruel trick on? Why had it turned out this way? They'd been so happy at the beginning hadn't they?

If he was really honest with himself, the answer was no, they'd never been truly happy. He should never have married her, thinking back now he didn't know why he did. The need to be loved and to have to somebody to love probably. That wasn't love though, love was unconditional and while it could grow deeper in time, you couldn't manufacture what was never there. There had never been a spark, she was there and he had though that she had loved him, that had been enough at the time.

Now eight years down the line, he knew he'd made a big mistake. He was in love with somebody else and now that he was, he knew what love felt like, what real love felt like. He couldn't act on it though, while he didn't love his wife, he could never hurt her. Sighing Gordon let himself in his house.

* * *

It was Monday morning, the sun was shining and it was the beginning of another week at The Royal. Jill smiled when she walked past the casualty entrance, Meryl was helping Frankie restock the medical supplies in the ambulance. Just looking at them made her feel all warm inside, she couldn't remember when she last saw a couple so in love. She hoped it would last for them, she remembered when she'd fallen in love. When she remembered the good times it seemed like yesterday, when she remembered the bad times it made her glad that it was in the past, even if remnants of it still haunted her. 

Still feeling warm inside she walked into casualty and came face to face with Dr Hardy. He was wearing a black suit with a black tie, which struck Jill as somewhat wrong considering the wonderful day it was outside. He'd missed a bit when he was shaving that morning, leaving a very sexy looking trail of stubble. He turned to look at her flashing her a smile.

"I'm Dr Luke Hardy, new surgeon. You must be Jill," Luke greeted, Jill nodded and shook his hand.

"That's right," Jill smiled, suddenly and inexplicably dumbstruck.

"Good. Listen you don't who the anaesthetist is this morning do you? You see I'd like to make a few changes to the list." Jill thought for a moment.

"You only just got here and you're already making changes," Jill joked, "I think it's meant to be Gordon but he's not in yet. Depending on the changes you might want to brief Jeff because Gordon's normally really late." Luke nodded and Jill could tell he was ingesting the information and storing it away for future reference, part of her felt a pang of guilt at that but then it was common knowledge. They stood staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, both of them had run out of things to say but yet didn't feel they had finished the conversation off.

"I should er . ." Luke gestured over his shoulder somewhat awkwardly "go find Jeff."

"Yeah and I need to get my patient notes," Jill told him heading past him to the reception, for some reason Luke couldn't explain he felt his eyes drawn to her and he watched her walk away.


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks past and over that three weeks Luke fit in so well everybody found it hard to imagine what life had been like before. Nurses constantly hit on him, Stella in particular but to no avail. Always he was polite but he never responded to any of the flirting, or any of the invitations for drinks. 

"Dr Hardy," Stella called as she spotted Luke walking out of the small kitchen that the staff shared.

He turned to her and as always smiled that smile, that smile that made him so irresistible. _'He must know'_ Stella reasoned, _'He must know how gorgeous he is, he's got most of the nursing staff practically throwing themselves at him, why does he never respond? He's not married, he's not involved with anybody, it doesn't make any sense.'_

"Nurse Davenport," Luke greeted. "Something that I can do for you?"

"I just wondered if you needed me in casualty, as Sister Bridget says she can do without me on the ward." Stella explained, Luke shrugged.

"I guess we could get do a stock check or something, it's quiet at the moment." Stella smiled pleased, she'd now have a couple of hours to try and discern why Luke kept knocking her back and hopefully get him to say yes. Sometime later, after subtle and not so subtle flirting had failed to work, Stella decided to come right out and ask him out, it wasn't conventional but she thought that it was the only tactic that hadn't been tried.

"So Dr Hardy, what are you doing tonight?"

"I'm not doing anything, why?" Luke replied cautiously, hoping against hope that she wasn't asking him out directly, that was the only thing he couldn't beat, people couldn't know, he didn't want people to know.

"I just wondered if you'd like to get a drink or something after work." Stella stopped counting bandage packets and turned to look at him, suddenly noticing how uncomfortable he looked.

"What, as friends?" Luke checked, praying that she would say yes. Stella frowned and smiled slightly.

"If you like, though I was thinking more like a date." Stella looked at Luke, for a moment he looked pained before looking surprised.

"Well um, I don't er, I don't think so. I should er, go check in with Gordon about this afternoon's surgery." Luke replied, walking backwards and then quickly away. Stella watched him leave, there was only one explanation for that kind of response.

* * *

All afternoon Luke felt like everybody was looking at him, it was a queer feeling that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up on end. He'd had this feeling before, everytime he walked in a room nurses and other ladies looked at him, he'd learned to tune that out though. This was a new feeling, men were now looking at him as well and joining in on the conversations that stopped the instant he walked in the room, something wasn't right. Luke tried to put it down as an odd occurrence, something that would soon die down. He had no idea why there was sudden interest in him and to be honest he didn't really care, he just wanted it to end. 

Over the next few days Luke ignored it, people whispering in corners about him had happened before, he'd lasted a year in a hospital with that before it wore him down, he could cope. Perhaps it was because he'd transferred here to get away from the odd glances and the furtive comments that it wore him down so quickly, Luke didn't really know. After a week he'd had enough.

"Gordon," Luke called, running out of the casualty entrance just in time to catch Gordon before he left.

"Luke I'm in kind of a hurry," Gordon told him, hoping he'd take the hint. He had to leave now because if he wasn't there in five minutes it wouldn't be pretty and even though he didn't love his wife anymore, he didn't want anything to happen to her.

"I'm sorry Gordon it'll just take a minute, it really can't wait." Gordon frowned and checked his watch, he was intrigued. "This may sound silly but I've been getting a lot of funny looks recently, people whispering in corners or stopping conversations when I enter a room. I'm starting to realise how Jeff feels, getting given the cold shoulder isn't nice, at least he knows why though, I don't." Gordon sighed heavily, he'd been expecting something important, he hadn't noticed any odd behaviour towards Luke, he was probably misinterpreting the nurses looks.

"Luke, I'm sure you're overreacting. We can talk more about this later though, I'm sorry I've really got to run."

Without giving Luke time to answer Gordon got in his car and quickly accelerated out of the car park. Luke stared after Gordon's car thinking hard, he'd noticed the fact that Gordon often left early, arrived late and sometimes disappeared at odd times, something wasn't right there. In fact there were a lot of things that weren't right at this hospital, the staff were good at what they did but hopelessly incompetent when it came to their personal lives. In reality so was he, he just had a gift, a drive, a need, for meddling and fixing other people's lives. Maybe he'd pay Gordon a visit later at home.


	3. Chapter 3

The day passed quickly which was a surprise seeing as it was one of the worst days Luke had ever had. He could swear the looks were getting worse, more pointed and hateful. Trying to shrug it off Luke walked along the corridor to the veritable safety of his office. Just as he was passing Jeff's door a man angrily brushed past him and started to hammer at it. Jeff inside thought that the door was going to break in, fearing for his safety but worried about the safety of others if he ignored the knocking, Jeff unlocked the door and went outside. He was instantly grabbed by the collar and swung against the wall by the man. 

"You're a fucking pervert!" the man screamed, punching Jeff hard in the stomach.

Luke stood there horrified for a moment before swinging into action. He clamped his hand hard down on the mans shoulder and yanked it hard backwards, the man not expecting the action stumbled backwards momentarily losing his hold on Jeff. Luke taking his opportunity grabbed the mans arm this time and pulled backwards sharply, the man stumbled again losing his hold completely on Jeff and was turned to face Luke. Luke then raised up his fist and hit the man with a solid right hook, he was unconscious before he hit the ground.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked, turning to Jeff concern in his eyes, ignoring the man lying on the floor. Jeff looked from Luke to the man and then back again.

"Yeah," Jeff replied, obviously very shaken up.

"Come with me," Luke told him walking slowly up the corridor, Jeff made no move to follow him, his eyes fixed on the unconscious man. "Come on," Luke encouraged, gently placing an arm around Jeff's shoulders and leading him away down the corridor to his office.

Ken and Lizzie watched them leave, they'd seen the entire exchange between them. The man's scream had reached reception and panicked a few people. Ken and Lizzie looked at each other and exchanged a glance. The rumours had to be true, there was definitely no other explanation now.

* * *

An hour later Luke walked into reception absolutely knackered. He'd just finished an interview with the police in which he'd had to defend his every action in attacking that man. It turned out that that man was Mr Bellows, his wife was a patient of Jeff's. Apparently Mrs Bellows wasn't all there and had told her husband that Jeff had acted inappropriately towards her, what with the Samantha fiasco he'd believed it in an instant. 

Sighing Luke was about to enter the area behind reception, he'd just been in the staff kitchen to find out, much to his annoyance, that they were out of coffee. He paused just outside the door, he'd just heard Lizzy mention his name, he knew that nothing good could come out of eavesdropping but he found himself doing it anyway.

"So this whole Mr Bellows thing proves it," Lizzy stated.

"I don't know," Meryl voiced. She knew that what Lizzy was saying made perfect sense however if it got out, no scratch that it already had got out. It still wasn't good to gossip about it though, it could ruin a perfectly decent doctor's reputation.

"You don't know. How can you not know?" Stella asked incredulously. Through the crack in the door Luke could see her shaking her head in disbelief. "He's got every nurse in this hospital practically throwing themselves at him. He defends Dr Goodwin without knowing the first thing about the situation. There can be no other explanation. He's got to be gay." Luke covered his face with his hands. Matron who had been going to Mr Middleditch's office saw him there, shaking slightly with repressed emotion.

"Are you alright doctor?" she called down the corridor. Rearranging his expression so he wouldn't convey any sign that something was amiss Luke turned to Matron.

"I'm fine, it's been a long day. I'm just off home." Matron nodded, not buying his story in an instant but certain that she would get to the bottom of it before Monday.


	4. Chapter 4

"Any other business?" Mr Middleditch asked looking round the room.

He'd just concluded, a mercifully short, briefing. Mr Harper had unfortunately been taken ill over the weekend with flu so the threat of an imminent inspection was for the moment postponed. Luke looked around the room, nobody was meeting his eyes, not even Gordon. Although that was probably because he wasn't meeting anybody's eyes, he seemed to be preoccupied with something.

Not for the first time Luke felt a pang of guilt. He'd intended to go over and see Gordon Saturday evening but what with everything that had happened it had completely slipped his mind. That wouldn't do, he made a resolution to go and see Gordon tonight. However, back to the issue at hand, while he didn't want gossip and speculation this present situation had gone on long enough, it was time to put a stop to it.

"I've got something to say," Luke began just before Mr Middleditch could end the meeting. Out of habit Luke stood up, tiredly he ran a hand through his hair. "There's been a lot of rumours flying around about my . . sexuality."

Lizzy and Stella exchanged a glance, slightly surprised that he was addressing the subject so unabashedly, this was the moment of truth time.

"I'd just like to clear a few things up. I am not and never have been gay. The fact that I don't wish to go out with anybody here is my choice, one I hoped you would respect." Everybody remained quiet at that, the tension in the room could have been cut with a knife.

Luke smiled slightly putting a few people at ease. Stella who nearly always spoke her mind was itching to ask the question that was on everybody's lips. _'You're not married, you're not seeing anybody, you claim you're not gay, you have women practically throwing themselves at you, what's your problem?'_ For once though she kept her mouth closed.

"Thank you," Luke finished, walking out of the room. He never had liked being centre of attention, particularly now it brought back to many painful memories of times he wished he could forget.

* * *

That day was very tense and very difficult but somehow Luke made it through. By the time it came for him to go home, he wanted nothing more than to do exactly that, but he hadn't forgotten the promise he'd made that morning. He'd got to Gordon's doorstep and knocked before he realised that he didn't have a plausible excuse for being there. However, it was a little late to back out as Gordon opened the door. 

"Luke, what do you want?" Gordon asked in surprise. Luke opened his mouth, not sure why he'd expected Gordon to be welcoming, particularly as he was here to fix the mess that he expected to be Gordon's personal life, but he had and now he was at a loss for words. Gordon stepped out on to the porch, partially closing the door behind him, unconsciously moving in front of the gap so Luke couldn't see inside.

"I er . . I," Luke struggled, he was normally so good at coming up with excuses on the spot but this time his mind had gone completely blank. Gordon seemed to sense his discomfort and felt badly about it, it wasn't Luke's fault that he didn't want anybody coming around his home.

"I'm sorry, my wife isn't feeling well," Gordon lied, "I'd invite you in but she really isn't well." Luke nodded in an understanding fashion. This visit might have been short, and considered by some to be unproductive, but at least it meant he'd pinpointed the source of Gordon's problems. All he had to do now was research.

"That's fine Gordon, I'm sorry to bother you. See you at work tomorrow." Gordon nodded, so relieved that Luke was leaving that he didn't pause to wonder why he'd actually come round in the first place. Luke walked back down the garden path and out into the street. His earlier tiredness had now dissapitated, his wish now was not to go home but to do something, anything. He decided to leave his bike where it was, it would be safe there until morning and he could pick it up on his morning jog. Instead he started walking the four blocks to the nearest pub. As he rounded the corner on the last block he bumped literally into Jill.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Luke apologised helping Jill to her feet. 

"That's ok," Jill replied instinctively. Neither of them had realised yet that they knew each other. It was dark on that corner, the streetlight having long given up. It wasn't until Jill turned her head and looked Luke in the eye that they recognised each other.

"Jill," Luke's eyes softened and he made no move to stop holding her hands with his own, an action that wasn't lost on Jill. "I didn't know you lived round here."

"I didn't think you did either," Jill replied, Luke smiled, the warmth of which almost made Jill shiver with the promise of spending more time in the company of this man.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Luke asked gesturing to the pub down on the road, "Or perhaps dinner?"

"Dinner would be nice." Luke smiled and reluctantly let go of Jill's hands so they could walk down the road, instead instinctively his hand traveled to the small of her back.

He'd been at the royal for nearly a month now, it had taken him that long to pluck up the courage to talk to Jill on something other than a professional level. Intellectually he knew that there had been no need to wait that long, it was just he'd been hurt before, badly hurt. He didn't think he could bear the pain again, there was a saying that lightening never struck twice but even now he wasn't sure he was ready, or willing to take that risk. To get that close to someone again. That time might be a long way in the future for him and Jill, in fact it was a time that may never come but he'd taken the first step tonight, on the road to that happening.

Luke ushered Jill into the Chinese restaurant, it was a place he'd found a week after arriving in Elsinby, he'd been a regular ever since. The tables were all set for two, the lighting was low and the mood intimate. Eating there alone had been less than fun but the food had been good, it was only now that he was there with company that he realised how miserable it had been.

"So . ." Jill wasn't sure where to begin the conversation. The question that had been on everybody's lips since his announcement that morning was now on her lips too, only now she'd changed it slightly in keeping with the current situation. _'You're seriously good-looking, you're not married, you're not seeing anybody, you turn down offers from half the nurses in the hospital and now you've invited me to dinner. Those factors do not add up, what are we missing?' _

"Tell me about yourself?" Luke picked up the conversation, making good eye contact as he took a sip of water. _'Doing everything in fact that women wanted a man to do.' _Jill noted, _'There has to be a catch somewhere. He can't be good-looking and sensitive too.'_

"I'd prefer you told me about yourself, you're very mysterious Luke." Luke looked uncomfortably down at his empty plate. There were some things in his past that he didn't want to share, things that would blight any new relationship.

Of it's own accord his hand reached up and slipped under his shirt, reaching for the necklace he wore, the necklace that gave him strength and hope, the necklace that in all honesty had saved his life. Jill watched the action, puzzled by the secrecy and not entirely sure she was comfortable with it. Being private was one thing, having barriers up at the vaguest of questions was another.

"I er . . I grew up in London," Luke began, he could skip the bit's he didn't want to tell. It wouldn't be lying, it was just being creative with his answers, everybody did it, you just left out parts and embellished a little on others. It wouldn't matter and nobody would ever know. "My father's a doctor . ."


	5. Chapter 5

"Doctor," Lizzy called stopping Luke in his tracks, he had just been going to escape for a while and have some lunch, it had been an extremely busy morning but clearly he wasn't going to get a respite. 

"Yes Lizzy?" Luke turned round to face her careful not to let his frustration and annoyance show, it wasn't her fault it was a hectic day.

"There's been a mining accident. Dr Weatherall is out on a house call, Dr Goodwin is still with patients and I can't find Dr Omerod." Luke held up his hand and smiled briefly.

"Say no more Lizzy, I'm on my way."

"Thanks doctor." Luke didn't reply as he hurried back along the corridor the way he came to Jeff's office. He knocked and barely waiting for a reply opened the door.

"Dr Goodwin sorry to bother you." Luke smiled his apologies at the patient sitting in front of Jeff's desk. "There's been a mining accident and I've been tapped to go. Can I borrow your medical bag and car?" Jeff nodded and reached into his desk drawer for the car keys with one arm, gesturing with the other arm to his medical bag which was sitting in the corner.

"Sure." Jeff tossed Luke his car keys which he caught deftly. Luke then reached down and quickly picked up the medical bag before rushing back out past reception. Mining accidents were serious affairs and you never knew what you would find when you got there. Lot's of people hurt or just a few, it could be a crisis situation, he just didn't know. He'd know when he got there though, which would be soon.

Luke arrived in record time, he'd always had a liking for driving fast and it served him well in times of need. When he got there he jumped out of the car, a man with a white helmet ran over to meet him.

"You the doc?" he asked.

"Yeah," Luke nodded. The man handed him an old, obviously well used helmet.

"Put that on and follow me." Luke did as he was told, struggling to keep up with the miners long stride despite the fact that he himself was tall. "We've evacuated the mine, there were a few minor injuries but they'll keep. Pete's still down there, one of the props fell on him. He's in a bad way doc, we haven't moved him just in case you know." Luke nodded taking a deep breath before he walked in the mine entrance.

He'd suffered from slight claustrophobia and a fear of the dark since childhood, his last call out to a mine hadn't exactly alleviated that fear. Still he walked in anyway, he was a doctor and somebody needed saving, it was what he'd signed up for.

"You did good," Luke managed to reply after a minute, his throat had seized up.

"He's just down there doc." The man gestured for him to go ahead, something that Luke really did not want to do, there could be anything down that dark tunnel, any number of pitfalls or anything.

He swallowed hard and with much reluctance made his way down the passageway. It wasn't as bad as he thought, the ground was smooth underfoot and the angle wasn't steep. A minute later he arrived at the bottom. There were two men already there, one was clearly unhurt and the other was pinned under a wooden beam. Luke knelt down next to him, placing his borrowed medical bag beside him.

"Pete I'm Dr Hardy. Can you hear me?" Pete didn't reply, not that Luke had expected him to, he'd taken a nasty bang to the head, in addition his breathing was erratic and laboured. "Ok Pete I'm just going to check you over, ok? Then we can see about getting you out of here." Luke quickly and skillfully examined Pete and determined that he was suffering from an acute head injury, several cracked ribs and a punctured lung. They needed to get him to the surface now. "Alright you," Luke pointed to the man that had been sitting with Pete, "You and me are going to lift this beam thing here. You," Luke pointed to the man who'd shown him down there, "You drag Pete out, he doesn't appear to be suffering from any spinal injuries but be as careful as you can be."

"You got it doc," the man replied getting ready to pull Pete free. The other man took up a position opposite from Luke and got ready to lift.

"On my count. One, two, three." Luke and the other guy heaved as hard as they could on the beam, it budged a little but not enough. "Alright let's try that again." Luke wiped a dirty hand across his brow, the last thing he needed right now was for a drop of perspiration to fall in his eye.

"Need a hand?" Gordon asked, stepping out of the shallow tunnel. Luke looked seriously at him.

"Sure, just come right here." Gordon set down his medical bag next to Luke's and took up a position by the beam. "Right let's try this again. On my count. One, two, three." All three men heaved, the beam moved, the man pulled Pete clear and then the rest of the mine wall collapsed.

* * *

Meanwhile at The Royal everything was peaceful. The last patients had been dealt with and now the staff were looking forward to a nice relaxing lunch. Meryl went and found Frankie out in the ambulance bay, they were going to have lunch down at the seafront. It had been tough getting over his betrayal. Not only with her friend, Samantha, but also the fact that he had a whole other family. However, she guessed that if two people were truly meant to be together then they could overcome all obstacles. She felt that about her and Frankie. 

At the same time Jeff walked out of his office, he turned and locked the door before heading down to reception where he hoped to find Stella. Ever since she'd arrived he'd liked her and he was pretty sure she'd liked him. She'd asked him out for a drink, he'd turned her down. At the time it was because he needed to space because of the whole Samantha fiasco, now he hoped it hadn't scuppered his chances. He was going to ask her to lunch.

Back at the mine things were not looking good.

"We're trapped aren't we?" Luke asked shouting even though nobody was more than three feet away from him. Perspiration beads dotted his forehead and he was clutching compulsively at something under his shirt, Gordon noted.

"Calm down Luke, it'll be fine, don't worry." Gordon attempted to calm Luke down, it appeared to just make things worse.

"Calm down! We're stuck down a bloody mind shaft! The air's running out! Is it me or is it getting warmer in here?" Luke gabbled, wiping with his free hand the sweat from his face, Gordon looked at him knowing immediately what the problem was and also knowing that Luke should have refused this assignment, you couldn't be a good doctor if you were to preoccupied with your own fears.

"It'll be fine Luke. How's the patient doing?"

"Er." Luke moved slightly and looked over at Pete. Gordon could practically see him switching mental gears. "He's not looking good, if we're down here much longer we'll have to do an emergency operation."

"An operation doc?" the white hatted man, Dave, inquired. Luke nodded.

"Yeah a simple procedure really, just open to lot's of complications. I'm a surgeon though so it'll be fine." Luke mopped his brow again and tugged at his shirt. After sighing a few times as his attempt to cool down failed, he started to unbutton his shirt and soon shrugged it off. Gordon frowned as he watched him, it wasn't that hot in here but then Luke was hyperventilating.

"You got a tattoo?" Gordon noticed in surprise, while Luke had struck him as not your average doctor it still surprised him. Luke looked down at the tattoo emblazoned on the side of upper right arm.

"Yeah. I was a little worse for wear when I got it," Luke admitted. '_His whole expression changed_ Gordon noted '_when he cast his mind back to that time.'_

"What is it of?"

"It's the cross of St Jude, same as this." Luke held up his medallion, it twinkled slightly in the dull light of the lamp.


	6. Chapter 6

"St Jude?" Gordon frowned, puzzled. The name rang a vague bell, he thought it was probably catholic. Luke had surprised him for the second time in as many minutes, he hadn't thought him to be religious. 

"Yeah, patron saint of lost causes," Luke replied his eyes gazing off into the distance at something only he could see. He then suddenly seemed to realise that others were present. "Does anyone know what time it is?"

"About two, I reckon," Dave told him, Luke nodded glancing for the umpteenth time around their small prison. He couldn't think about it, he'd freak if he did.

"So Gordon, why did you suddenly show up? Lizzy told me she couldn't find you." Gordon swallowed hard suddenly finding that it was uncomfortably warm in here after all.

"I . . I er just popped home."

"Oh right, you seem to do that a lot. Are things alright at home?" Gordon wiped the perspiration off his brow and glanced over at Dave and Mick, the other miner, who had suddenly become very interested in the mine wall.

"Things are fine." Gordon loosened his tie, it was getting hard to breathe in here. What was Luke trying to do? Interrogate him? Why would he want to do that? No he wasn't, he was just asking questions, passing the time.

"How's your wife?"

"My wife," Gordon gulped in panic. Luke's eyes narrowed as he looked at Gordon, something was definitely wrong. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure what but it was obviously worse than what he'd originally envisaged.

"Yeah, your wife. You said she wasn't well the other night, remember?" Gordon nodded, repressing a sigh of relief. It was just innocent questions, he couldn't know, he'd been so careful not to let anybody find out.

"She's feeling a little better I think," Gordon replied carefully wracking his brain as to how he could change the subject. Luke nodded, he'd pressed him hard, gone as far as he should go, for now.

"So Dave, how long do you reckon it'll be before they get us out of here?"

* * *

It was three hours before the men were finally freed from their underground prison. Sadly in that time, despite Luke and Gordon's best efforts, Pete died from massive internal injuries. Due to the hour and the events of the day both Luke and Gordon were told they could go straight home. Gordon did so, worried about what might have happened in his absence. 

Luke didn't, in his mind there was no point in going home. There was nothing there for him, not now anyway. He'd just be staring at the same four walls as he did all night when he couldn't sleep. Tiredly he decided on a walk along the seafront. It would be peaceful there and give him a chance to reflect on the disappointing conclusion that the call out had taken. He knew that you couldn't save them all, he knew that, he also knew that however many people he saved he could never save the one person who really needed saving. When he reached a small cove he paused and sat down on a rock embedded in the sand. There was nobody around and for that he was grateful because, as he pulled out the small polaroid snapshot, he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

* * *

"So you ready to go?" Jill asked, walking into Luke's office without knocking, the door was partially open. Luke didn't reply he was staring at a small photo, seemingly oblivious to his surroundings and an expression of great sorrow on his face. Jill walked round his desk and laid her hand on his shoulder, he jumped and sprang out of his chair, immediately hiding the photo. 

"What you doing sneaking up on people like that?" Luke started shouting, slightly breathless from the shock. Jill looked at him, unsure of how to respond. After a moment Luke shook his head and sighed running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, you just made me jump."

"That's ok," Jill replied cautiously, Luke had jumped up before she'd got a chance to get a good look at the photo, but she thought it was of a child. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Luke nodded, clearly for emphasis. Jill wasn't convinced but she left it, if Luke didn't want to talk she wasn't going to push, not yet anyway. "So do you want to head off now?"

"That's what I came to ask you," Jill told him, Luke nodded.

"Right, well yeah, sure I'm ready." Luke reached over to the coat rack, retrieved his coat and donned it. "I'll cook tonight," Luke offered, Jill nodded readily in agreement. They'd been stepping out so to speak for two months now and she'd yet to sample his culinary skills. "So what's it to be, Chinese or fish and chips?" They both cracked up laughing erasing the tension between them.


	7. Chapter 7

Gordon's world and the fragile walls he'd built to protect himself came tumbling down a week later. The day had started out innocent enough, there were the usual collection of patients, some with a genuine complaints and others that were malingerers. The day had progressed nicely enough, no patients were rude and he hadn't had any problems. The day even started to end in an amenable fashion, which made a change, however it was not to be. 

"What have we got?" Gordon asked, pausing Meryl who was half running away from casualty in the direction of Matron's office.

"Car accident. I have to get Matron, the person who was behind the wheel is in a terrible state," Meryl replied hurrying off again before Gordon could ask anymore questions. Shrugging Gordon walked down to casualty, finding that Luke was already there.

"What have we got?" Gordon reiterated, struggling to get to the patients side due to Luke blocking the door, the gurney blocking the other and three nurses and Frankie milling about.

"Middle aged woman run over by a car. Driver said she was lying in the road, that there was nothing he could do." Gordon grunted in acknowledgment as Luke wouldn't have been able to see him nod and finally made his way round the gurney.

Once he was there, and he clapped eyes upon the patient, all the colour drained from his face. Luke chose just that moment to look up and ask Gordon to fetch him something or other, he took in Gordon's pasty complexion at a glance.

"I don't think you should be here. Staff Nurse," Meryl's eyes narrowed, she hadn't even walked into the room and he knew she was there, how perceptive was that. "Take Dr Ormerod back to his office, get him a cup of tea and ask Dr Weatherill to sit with him. Then get Dr Goodwin to come and assist me."

"Yes doctor," Meryl acknowledged guiding a stunned Gordon away.

* * *

It was two hours later when Luke, knocked quietly and, walked into Gordon's office. Gordon looked up at him, his eyes betraying more than he ever could verbalize. Jill shot Luke a questioning glance, Gordon hadn't spoken a word since she'd arrived and she wanted to know what the hell was going on. 

"Jill, if you wouldn't mind," Luke looked at her, his face completely impassive. Jill shrugged and left the room, she'd make Luke tell her what was going on later. When Jill had left Luke took the chair she had just vacated. "I'm sorry Gordon."

Gordon sighed heavily, hearing the news he'd unconsciously been waiting to hear for years, how did his life ever get so screwed up?

"We did everything we could, there was massive internal bleeding and haemorrhaging. On top of that she was suffering acute alcohol poisoning. She looks to me like an accident waiting to happen. If this hadn't killed her, something else would have." Gordon nodded, finding it hard to take it all in. "It's not your fault Gordon, so don't blame yourself. There was nothing anybody could have done. Women are women right? You can't stop them from doing anything."

Gordon still didn't respond, Luke visually checked him over, he looked tired but there were no signs of shock. He would just keep talking until he got through to him.

"I understand how you're feeling. I remember when I lost my wife . ." Gordon, who had previously been studying his desk with feigned interest, looked up like a shot. He hadn't known that Luke had been married. ". . it felt like somebody had ripped out my heart and broken it into a million pieces. I know how you must feel, but your situation is different from mine. I think that you said your goodbyes a long time ago. It'll take a while to heal but your heart didn't break today, it was already broken." Gordon just stared at him, Luke really understood, he actually got it, he must know everything.

"You . . you know?" Gordon looked for confirmation, Luke nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It's to soon to think about this but, the best piece of advice I got was . . um . . that sometimes the best thing you can do, is to er . . is to get on with your life. The past is the past, and it should stay that way." Luke smiled sadly at Gordon, his eyes revealing the truth behind his words.

"Don't end up like me ok? Look back to the past, don't live in it." Luke stood up and clapped his hand down on Gordon's shoulder. "If you need anything, call me, day or night ok?" Gordon nodded, to numb and overtaken by events to process everything.

Unconsciously, Luke sighed deeply as he left Gordon's office. He'd realised something during the short time in Gordon's office, something he'd done and thus something he had to make right.


	8. Chapter 8

"Jill," Luke called, running down the corridor to catch up with her. Jill paused at the end and watched him approach. "Can we talk?" Luke asked. Jill studied his face, he was serious but yet hesitant at the same time. She was certain she caught a flicker of fear in his eyes. 

"Yeah sure." Assuming, correctly, that he wanted to talk privately, Jill led him to her office. She ushered him in, carefully closing the door behind them, he took one of the patients chairs, she took the other. "Are you going to explain what's going on with Gordon?" Luke sighed.

"Yes, partly but I also need to explain about me, my situation." Jill frowned, he was being so mysterious, but then he always had been, he was actually scaring her slightly now. Taking her silence as an invitation to continue Luke took a deep breath and began.

"That night when I supposedly told you my life story, I skipped a few bits." Jill nodded, she'd known that already but at the time, considering it had been their first date, she hadn't been overly concerned, everybody did it. "Those bits were quite important. You see I was married. That picture that I have um, is of my son."

Luke reached into his inside jacket pocket and withdrew the snapshot, he handed it to Jill wordlessly. Jill accepted it, the boy in the photograph couldn't have been more than three, he was smiling gaily at the camera as if he didn't have a care in the world. Which Jill reflected, he probably hadn't.

"He looks like a lovely child." Luke nodded, smiling slightly as he remembered with fondness what a good child Ben had been.

"Yeah he is. He's nearly six now. I haven't seen him since just after that photo was taken." Jill looked at him, she wanted to ask why, but she had a feeling that the answer was coming and that any interruption would cause him to close up rather than open.

"You see um, I used to live in London. High flying doc at a city hospital, living my dream. I had a beautiful wife and son and another one on the way, life was perfect. I still don't know why it happened, or who did it, it's the not knowing that's the hardest I think. One night, I'd been working late, I came home and . . and . ."

Luke tailed off, his throat had closed up and tears were pricking at his eyes, the memories were still too clear, too vivid for him to bear. He had to though, he had to finish this. Jill sensing his anguish, gingerly placed her hand over his, providing much needed strength and comfort. After a long moment Luke regained control of his emotions and continued.

"Well, let's just say that my wife and unborn son were dead, murdered no less. The police put two and two together and made five, I was er . . I was prosecuted for it. I spent eight months in jail before they realised they'd made a mistake and released me. Those months were hell on earth. I lost everything that day. My job, my wife and my son. Naturally the courts took him away from me, they placed him with a foster family and let him be adopted. When I was released I tried to get him back, they wouldn't allow it. He was only three at the time, he'd spent best part of a year with these people, he didn't know who I was. The courts ruled it would be to disruptive for him, that he'd be better off staying with the new family, that a didn't have a legal right anyway." Jill looked at him, he'd gone through so much, she didn't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry," Jill said awkwardly after a long pause, she didn't know what else to say. Luke looked at her, his tortured mind seeing somebody else entirely, somebody he'd never see again.

"The story doesn't end there . . ."

"What do you mean?" Jill asked, puzzled, there couldn't be more, could there? Luke remained silent for a long moment, he knew he had to say it, before it was too late. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her and that's exactly what he would do if he allowed this to continue.

"I . . I really like you . ." Luke began, tailing off, he just didn't know how to say it. Jill frowned,

"I like you too." Impulsively Luke reached into his pocket and withdrew a second snapshot. Just like before he handed it to Jill wordlessly, she studied it for a moment before handing it back. "Your wife," Jill commented softly, Luke nodded and continued with gritted teeth, he had to keep his emotions in check, he had to end this now.

"Notice anything else about the snapshot?" Jill shook her head.

"No."

"Really. Ok," Luke nodded again, his breathing becoming laboured, making for oddly punctuated sentences, as in the emotion of the moment he forgot to breathe. "It's not that good a picture. Rebecca, my wife, she looked like you." Luke watched Jill's face for a reaction, he couldn't see one so he continued, the words were coming easier now. "I didn't realise it till I was talking to Gordon about it all. I like you, I really do but I can't . . I live in the past as it is. I can't screw up your future because I can't let it go. I'm transferring."

"Luke . ." Jill began desperately, Luke cut her off.

"No Jill, let me finish. I saw Mr Middleditch before I came to see you. I'm transferring end of the week." Jill was stunned, lost for words, a long moment went by in silence, before Luke continued for the last time.

"You know, when you live in the past it stops you from living your life, that enables you too look at other people's. Observe it all and I've observed plenty. Gordon's been so caught up in trying to stop people from finding out about Caroline and her problems, or _'habits' _to be precise, that he's been living in limbo. However, just because your in limbo here."

Luke tapped his forehead,

"doesn't mean you're in limbo here."

Luke tapped his heart and smiled at Jill.

"I've seen the way he looks at you, he doesn't even know he's doing it. He will soon enough though, when he starts to wake up to the real world. I know you've been hurt before, badly hurt. I can reason that that's why you have problems with relationships."

Jill opened her mouth to interrupt but Luke held up his hand.

"Let me finish and don't argue with me alright, I'm not an expert on these things but what I say normally works out. I'm leaving, you and me would never have worked out. I'm with you because of Rebecca, you're with me because you're drawn to men that are emotionally unavailable, that it's never going to work out with."

Jill looked at him impassively, only her eyes giving her away.

"I know this is going to sound like the pot calling the kettle black but you have to stop living in the past. You've been hurt but now's the time to let it go. I'll give you the same advice I gave Gordon. Sometimes the best thing for you to do, is to get on with your life. The past is the past, it should stay that way."

Luke stood up and headed for the door, he had one hand on the doorknob when he turned to say one last thing.

"Gordon needs you now and I think . . I think you need him." Luke smiled briefly and left, leaving Jill with her thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

Saturday, Luke's last day at The Royal. Mr Middleditch did the announcement at the briefing, just like the one not so long ago that Luke had interrupted. Surprisingly enough people were genuinely upset, it seemed that in the short time that he'd been there he'd touched just about everybody in some way or another. Luke watched the reactions of everybody, he knew what they were thinking and he thought about how it had all began.

_Flashback Outside Hospital_

Luke stared after Gordon's car thinking hard, he'd noticed the fact that Gordon often left early, arrived late and sometimes disappeared at odd times, something wasn't right there. In fact there were a lot of things that weren't right at this hospital, the staff were good at what they did but hopelessly incompetent when it came to their personal lives. In reality so was he, he just had a gift, a drive, a need, for meddling and fixing other people's lives.

_End Flashback Outside Hospital_

Since that day he'd not only played matchmaker with Jill and Gordon. He'd also helped fix Meryl and Frankie's relationship, the bombshell that Frankie had been the father of Samantha Beaumont's baby had threatened to destroy it. He'd been the only one who hadn't judged Frankie, who'd helped him talk to Meryl and sort it out. He'd also been the one to deal with the small problem of Frankie's estranged wife and two children turning up. As he'd explained to Meryl though, you can't plan for true love to occur and when it does you have to hold on to end with all your strength, because, in love, there was no such thing as a second chance.

He'd also helped Jeff and Stella take the first steps on their relationship, the same with Lizzy and Alun. While he hated himself sometimes for meddling in other people's lives, at times when everything went right he felt better about his life. In helping others, he was putting his life to good use, making something of himself. It was this knowledge, and this alone, that stopped him from doing what he'd tried to all those years ago, commit suicide.

When Mr Middleditch announced any other business, Luke stood up, this would be his only chance to say goodbye. What he would say he didn't know, but for once he put his trust in hope.

"I just want to say er . . goodbye I guess and thank you. I've learnt a lot since I came here," to his surprise the words were flowing, for the first time since Rebecca he felt like he knew who he was and where he was going. "Most of all though I want to say thanks for the time that I've had here. I've had the chance to reflect, to work and to do what I'm best at."

Luke shot Jill and Gordon a glance and smiled, everything was going to fine now.

"I've enjoyed working at The Royal probably more than any other hospital, part of me is sorry that I have to leave but I know I'm going onto bigger things."

Luke smiled and looked at the faces, of people who'd become his friends, all together for one last time.

Later that day he walked out of the hospital with no regrets. His work there was done. He'd done as much for The Royal as they'd done for him. Perhaps now was the time for him to take his advice, after all sometimes the best thing you can do is to get on with your life.

**A/N:** As you can tell I screwed with the timeline totally. Having new characters like Stella and Frankie yet having Gordon still married to Caroline hope it wasn't that confusing.


End file.
